Matthew Jenkin talks to Pippa Evans's alter-ego Loretta Maine about being misunderstood in the US, getting drunk in Dubai and why she's the white Beyonce.
BITTER, deliciously twisted and ever so slightly scary, American singer songwriter Loretta Maine is a self-confessed genius and thinks murder is artistic license in her home state of Oregon.
So you can imagine my apprehension at meeting the fire-brand alter-ego of comedian Pippa Evans, who will be previewing her Edinburgh Fringe show at The Hob in Forest Hill next week.
With EPs including I Had Your Baby But I Threw It In The River and I’m Not Drunk I Just Need To Talk To You, Loretta’s music is sadly misunderstood in the USA.
After being chased out of New York’s Spanish Harlem district by angry locals, you could go so far as to say she is hated.
“Where the hell did you get this crap?” Loretta barks back at me.
“Spanish Harlem loved me. They called me ‘pueta blanca’ which I think means pretty lady.
“I had to leave as my building kept being fire-bombed. Just so weird — 17 times in three weeks.
“I suppose that’s just the New York way. Although I don’t remember Frank putting that in his song.”
The vegan man-hater moved to London three years ago in the hope the British public would embrace her music.
But she’s still waiting for her big break.
She said: “The world has to get my music.
“I don’t know how much longer I can go on giving myself to this industry.
“If they refuse to recognise my genius, I’ll probably go and live in a cave in the Smokey Mountains.
“I love it up there. So calm. I might keep a goat for company.”
Loretta is in no doubt about her star potential, describing herself as the white Beyonce.
Though maybe she needs to work on her rear before she takes on the R&B diva.
“My ass is already ample and I am proud of it,” she retorts.
“It is gonna start to sag soon and then I will embrace my saggy ass and draw faces on it and make you kiss them.”
If music is the food of love, Loretta’s songs are like the shot of tequila you down before a drunken night out which ends with your face in the gutter and your dignity drowning somewhere at the bottom of a pint of Stella.
Not that she cares. Alcohol is the troubled singer’s muse.
She said: “The best thing I have done while drunk is wake up at Dubai International Airport dressed as Homer Simpson.
“I have no idea how I got there but I know I left my house dressed as me.”
So, any advice to other women who want to emulate her?
She said: “Don’t bother. It takes very thick skin to remain this arrogant.”
Loretta Maine at EDComedy, The Hob, Devonshire Road, Forest Hill. August 1. 7.30pm. Visit edcomedy.com
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