It's official. What I have been saying for years is now a recognised fact. With an average of 70+ applicants going for every graduate job, folks are starting to wake up to the realisation that sending their kids off to university to earn a useless degree is all a big con.
Just the other day, I took my usual 269 bus from my accountants in Chislehurst to Bexley village. As you know if you've had the sense to read some of my previous blogs, all sorts of wildlife travel this route. Obviously, the inconsiderate mobile phone users are always aboard but we are occasionally treated to guest starring appearances from drunks, entire families of scum and the usual teenage parents complete with baby in pram. The last category of traveller always amuses me, especially when I observe the fathers and wonder just how long they will hang around before a life of nappies, night feeds and watching their mates jet off on holiday while they sit at home wondering where their lives have disappeared to, becomes all too much and they disappear into the sunset.
It is rare to have the above mentioned motley crew on every journey but one group of commuters always make an appearance. I am talking about the deluded students who love to chat amongst themselves and tell each other what 'uni' they are going to apply for. What really makes me laugh about this group of young people is how they really believe that degrees in media, travel & tourism, social studies and hospitality are going to set them up for glamorous careers away from Primark, KFC and HMV.
Let's all wake up and smell the decaffeinated. These degrees are not worth the certificates they're printed on - I know it, teachers know it, employers know it and now you and your kids know it.
There was once a time when being bright enough to go to university wasn't something every stoodent could boast. Those people who were of an academic bent and excelled at the core subjects - maths, English, science and languages - earned their places at university because they had worked hard at school passing proper O- and A-levels, not the Mickey Mouse ones enjoyed by today's yoofs. Employers knew darned well that if a graduate applied for a position in their company, they had worked their socks off studying and burning the midnight oil to pack their brains with facts, figures, the proper use of grammar in a foreign language and/or numerous other core skills valuable to a future, relevant career.
What are employers faced with in this day and age? I mean, what use is a degree in knowing the names of The Beatles and who managed them?*
A degree in media is laughed about in the real world of media on a daily basis. Once upon a time, if a person desperately wanted to work in television, newspaper journalism or the like, they invariably started at the bottom and worked their way up the career ladder. I believe DJ and multi-millionaire Chris Evans started his career in quite a few lowly jobs before he finally got his foot in the door of Manchester Piccadilly Radio by running errands and making the tea, not by getting a media degree. Another example is newspaper editor, Derek Jameson. Mr Jameson started his career as a messenger boy, went on to edit The Sun newspaper and ultimately to host several very popular national radio and television programmes.
If kids really believe they are going to make it big in television or radio simply because they have a degree in media, they have a very nasty shock coming to them. Oh, and some nice debt too on account of having to pay back their student loans.
Travel & tourism degrees are another joke. If you are not very academic but want to work in the travel industry, why not try applying for an office junior position in a travel agents or do some holiday repping? Ask Channel 4's 'Coach Trip' presenter, Brendan Sheerin, how he became a first class international tour guide. I bet he'll tell you he hasn't got a degree in Travel & Tourism. After all, how on earth can one learn about travel if one doesn't get hands-on experience of travelling? Perhaps I should put that last question to the residents of St Paul's Cray.
What we're now left with is thousands of parents who have been conned by the last government into believing their offspring will be the next Michael Parkinson, Davina McCall or Alan Whicker and thousands more kids who've got to face the stark reality that their degree is about as useful as a tool kit made from coarse cut marmalade.
The most any parents can hope for when they pack their kids off to the university of their choice is that they don't return home alcoholics, druggies, up the duff - or all three. Any graduate will tell you that most students use their time at university to get drunk, take drugs and lose their virginity - preferably all in the same night.
The three girls on the 269 a few days ago are no exception to the rule and they're unfortunately in for a big shock in a few years' time. As they gabbled on about Brighton University - and how great the nightlife is going to be - I had to cover my mouth with my hand when they began discussing their intended degrees. Yes, you've guessed it - Media Studies.
I kid you not.
* John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr. Managed by Brian Epstein.
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