I have moaned about my GP surgery before. Not least because of one doctor's lack of interest in finding why I was in pain which meant that until I went private, my spinal cancer was being put down to me being "Old and overweight.".

My main gripe with my surgery concerns the almost total impossibility of actually getting an appointment with a GP when you are ill and needing their help.

My surgery opens it's switch board at 8am. And if you are not the first in the queue then you may as well forget it.

I have never managed to book a same day appointment by this method. If you are dumb enough to go to the surgery at 8am then you are no further forward as you will be told to go home and call as they can't take appointments for that day at that time !

Your next option, when you go home and finally get through, is to book an appointment for seven days ahead of the present date.

And it has to be 7 days.

So if you phone on a Wednesday your appointment must be the following Wednesday..... unless you are registered with one of the doctors who doesn't work on a Wednesday in which case you can't even book for the following Thursday.

You MUST phone 7 days to the day prior to the date you want to attend.

Of course you can always attend the emergency surgery and take pot luck as to whether you get a real doctor or one of the couple of foreign charlatans who operate from the practice, showing, in my experience, little or no ability to understand a patients needs or exhibit any sign of care.

Now let us travel less than 5 miles to a practice in West Wickham.

If you need an appointment and the doctor has a free slot then you get that appointment. The day you call is irrelevant; if you want it and it's free then you get it.

Better still you can go on line and once logged in with your practice password you can book your appointment there and then as the entire practice diary of availability is there on line!

And so whilst I have to wait a week for my next appointment with my GP my wife logged on to her practice today and is seeing her doctor tomorrow afternoon.

However all this could change since despite Moron - sorry Gordon Brown assuring us we can all have whatever GP practice we want (within reason obviously) my wife has been told, by the doctors receptionist NOT the GP that she must transfer to a more local GP to our address.

This is down to a decree from the local primary health care trust bean counters who have chosen which of the government edicts they will follow.

It doesn't matter that no local practices have any free places (another facet of the Gordon Brown lie of "go where you want for health care.") she MUST change practices. Where to exactly I wonder?

If I find anyone who's stupid enough to admit after May that they voted for the bl**dy Labour party I shall as like or not give their a*se a damn, good kicking.