ACTION film legend Steven Seagal has been working as a real-life police sheriff in the US for the past 20 years – a fact which, must like the majority of his movie output, has gone unnoticed by the public.
But now in hard-hitting reality show Steven Seagal: Lawman we get to follow the star of Under Siege and Under Siege 2 as he patrols the mean streets of Jefferson Parish, Louisiana.
This time the action is real and it makes The Wire look like an uninspiring episode of The Bill.
The martial arts hero has filled out since his lean and mean glory days, but he’s still got the skills and much of his role here is to dispense firearms and unarmed combat tips to his colleagues – leavened with plenty of Buddhist mysticism.
A cop at the shooting range spraying gunfire with all the discretion of Tiger Woods at a pool party is instructed to “become one with his weapon” as the bandana-sporting “master shooter”, Seagal’s own words, fires the tip off a match with his unerring aim.
Seagal is also a master at aikido, which he translates as “the way of peace and harmony”. He is regularly seen using his skills in demonstrations in which he peacefully comes close to breaking a colleague’s arm and dishes out plenty of harmonious kicks to the groin.
On the street, Seagal’s influence is more subtle, yet the show elevates these contributions to something bordering on the supernatural. As his squad car drives through the “’jects”, the impoverished housing estates of Jefferson Parish, his colleagues peer out into the shadows, struggling to find evidence of misbehaviour.
But when Seagal sets his trademark squint out the window the scenes seem to be shot through night vision goggles and suddenly a whole host of nefarious acts are witnessed. Seagal will gnomically pronounce something like: “He’s got a shooter” and the sirens start up. Is this really what it’s like through Seagal’s eyes?
Once the suspect is hunted down, Seagal’s aikido and Buddhist principles appear to take a back seat. His martial arts skills which have sent so many criminals hurtling through windows in his films are forsaken for a healthy dose of a Taser gun. This is often administered by Seagal when the risk presented by the suspect appears minimal as he is already pinned to the ground by about 10 police officers.
After one such Tasering, Seagal pronounces to the camera the suspect has “karmic issues”. Looking at the man, still flinching from the volts sent through him, you can’t help but feel this is the least of his problems.
Each episode is just 25 minutes long and flies by. Despite rarely doing much, Seagal is a magnetic presence and a real talisman for his team of cops, who he has obvious affection for.
You might never gain as high an opinion of Seagal as he has of himself – His introduction to each episode is: “I’m Steven Seagal, that’s right, Steven Seagal.”, anticipating the awe in the viewer his presence creates – but you will have to admit the man is a star.
Steven Seagal: Lawman (Complete Season One) is out now on DVD and Blu-Ray now.
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