Listings

THEATRES

Ashcroft Theatre, Park Lane, Croydon: Oct 2-4: Palladium Nights, 7.45pm; Oct 4-7: Postman Pat, 4.30pm. 020 8688 9291.

Charlton House Community Centre, Charlton Road, Charlton: Tuesdays: The Moat Players Amateur Drama Group, 8pm-10pm. 020 8854 5244.

Churchill Theatre, High Street, Bromley: Sept 27-Oct 7: A Servant to Two Masters. 020 8460 6677.

East Dulwich Tavern, Lordship Lane, East Dulwich: To Oct 14: Off Broadway -- five short plays, 8pm, £7.50/£6. 020 8299 4138.

Erith Playhouse, Erith High Street, Erith: To Sept 30: The Fifteen Streets, 8pm, £4.75. 01322 350345.

Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon: Sept 30: Ken Dodd, 8pm; Oct 1: Richard Clayderman, 8pm; Oct 4: Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, 8pm; Oct 5: Shane Ritchie. 020 8688 9291.

Greenwich Playhouse, Greenwich: To Oct 8: The Double Bass, 8pm, £9/£6. 020 8858 9256.

Lewisham Theatre, Rushey Green, Catford: Sept 29: Michael English, 8pm; Oct 3-7: The Circus of Horrors. 020 8690 0002.

The Orchard, Home Gardens, Dartford: Sept 27: The Magic of the Musicals, 7.45pm, £16.50, Sept 28-Oct 1: Postman Pat; Oct 3: Shane Ritchie, 7.45pm, £15/£16.50; Oct 4: Aswad, 7.45pm, £14/£15; Oct 5: Ceri Dupree, 7.45pm, £14. 01322 220000.

St John's Church, Parkhill Road, Bexley: Sept 29-30: Sidcup Operatic Society presents A Century of Musicals, £4.50-£3.50. 020 8302 3476.

Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, Croydon: Oct 4-22: The Dreamer, from £5.50. 020 8680 4060.

Woodville Halls, Woodville Place, Gravesend: Sept 28: The Thoughts of Chairman Alf, 8pm, £13.50/£12.50; Sept 29: The Legendary Ned Kelly, 8pm, £10/£9; Sept 30: The Counterfeit Stones, 7.30pm, £12.50/£11.50. 01474 337459/60.

ARTS

Arthouse, Lewisham Way, Lewisham: To Oct 1: Adrian Di Duca exhibition, Weds-Sun 11am-6pm, free. 020 8694 9011.

Charlton House Community Centre, Charlton Road, Charlton: Mondays and Thursdays: Writers' Study Group, 7.45pm-10.15pm. 020 8316 4802.

Fan Museum, Crooms Hill, Greenwich: To Dec 3: The Jewel and The Fan, 11am-5pm Tues-Sat, noon-5pm Sundays, £3.50/£2.50. 020 8305 1441.

Gallery 17 at Sue Clark Ceramics, High Street, Beckenham: Oct 1-12: Alex Clark and Colin Michael exhibition, normal opening hours. 020 8658 1788.

Limelight Gallery, Lewisham High Street, Lewisham: Thru Sept: More Than an Exhibition -- work by the Network Arts Lewisham group, library opening hours. 020 8297 8521.

Magnetic North Poets: Mondays: Meet in Greenwich, 8.30pm-10.30pm. 020 8516 8646 for weekly venue.

Pepys Building, Old Royal Naval College, Greenwich: To Sept 30: Magnum GMT 2000 exhibition, 10am-5pm daily, free. 020 8269 4791.

Sarre Road Community Centre, Riverside Court, High Street, St Mary Cray: Second Thursday of month: Meeting for writers, poets and musicians to share work, 7.30pm, free. 01689 822020.

COMEDY

Up The Creek, Creek Road, Greenwich: Sept 29: Andy Parsons, Jimmy Carr, Col Parker and Barry Custonola, 8pm, £10/£6; Sept 30: Jo Jo Smith presents Dave Johns, Keith Doven and Col Parker, 8pm, £14/£10; Oct 1: Malcolm's Sabbath, 8pm, £6/£4. 020 8858 4581.

JAZZ

Bob Hope Theatre, Wythfield Road, Eltham: Sept 27: Ronnie Hughes with Roger Kerr Trio, 8.30pm.

Clarendon Hotel Restaurant, Montpellier Row, Blackheath: Sept 30: Judith Sim and Dave Colton Trio, 8.30pm. 020 8318 4321.

Cricketers, 22, King William Walk, Greenwich Market: Sept 30: Elizabeth Jose Quartet, 8.30pm; Oct 1: Special Delivery, 1pm.

Farnborough Sports Club, High Street, Farnborough: Sept 29: John Softley's Just The Job Jazz, 8.30pm, £5. 01689 603299.

Hamilton House Hotel, West Grove, Blackheath: Sept 29: Emma Finlay and Dominic Ashworth, 8pm.

King's Head, High Street, Bexley: Oct 2: Duncan Lamont and Les Simons, 8.30pm, £5. 01322 527803.

Marriott Hotel Restaurant, Broadway, Bexleyheath: Oct 1, Under the Influence, 1pm. 020 8298 1000.

Paradise Bar, 460, New Cross Road, New Cross: Sept 30: Ian Hatt Trio, 2pm; Oct 1: Campbell Burnap Quartet, 8pm.

Pizza Express, High Street, Beckenham: Sept 27: Derek Nash and Chris Howes, 7.45pm; Oct 4: Kit Packham and Perry White, 7.45pm. 020 8303 3040.

Pizza Express, Broadway, Bexleyheath: Oct 3: Jim Clarke and Chris Howes, 7.45pm. 020 8303 3040.

Pizza Express Jazz Club, Earl Street, Maidstone: Sept 27: Jean Toussaint Quartet, 8.15pm, £10; Sept 29: Martin Litton Band, 8.15pm, £9.50; Oct 1: Cubana Bop, 8.15pm, £9.50pm. 01622 683548.

Plaza Suite, Stag Theatre, London Road, Sevenoaks: Oct 1: Tina May, Nikki Iles and Alan Barnes, 8pm, £8/£5. 01732 450175.

Rutland Arms, Perry Hill, Catford: Oct 2: Rutland Syncopators. 020 8291 9426.

The Studio, Beckenham Road, Beckenham: Sept 28: Jim Galloway and Spike Robinson Band, £7. 020 8663 0103.

White Swan, 13 Blackheath Road, Greenwich: Sept 29: Open Mike Session, 8.30pm, Sandie Safont and Simon Goodwin, 10pm.

Woodman, Blackfen Road, Sidcup: Sept 28: Ian Wheeler and Best of British Jazz, £5.

ROCK/POP

Alexandra, Parish Lane, Penge: Mondays: The Electric Jam, 9pm, all welcome.

Amersham Arms, New Cross Road: Oct 1: G-2-enesis, 8.30pm, £4.

Caf Tacubaya, High Street, Chislehurst: Sundays: Soul Extravaganza, 8pm, free. 020 8467 9909.

Chateau Premier, High Street, West Wickham: Sept 29: Frank Sinatra Tribute. 020 8777 4080.

Earl of Chatham, Thomas Street, Woolwich: Sept 30: The Forum. 020 8317 9513.

Fewterer and Firkin, Kirkdale, Sydenham: Sept 29: Mark Cobb and Friends, 9pm, £2.

Hardy's, Trafalgar Road, Greenwich: Thursdays: Musicians welcome. 020 8858 5292.

The Manor, Main Road, Biggin Hill: Sept 29: Limehouse Lizzy, 7.30pm, £4. 01322 664551.

The New Cross Inn, New Cross Road, New Cross: Wednesdays: The New South London Blues Jam, musicians welcome, 9pm, free. 020 8317 1216 or 020 8692 1866.

Old Tiger's Head, Lee Green: Fridays and Saturdays: Live music entertainment; Sundays: All Day Blues Jam Session, 2pm-9pm, free -- musicians welcome. 01322 408458.

The Studio, Beckenham Road, Beckenham: Sept 29: Steve Morrison's Blues abuse, 8.30pm.

Talk of the Town, Lowfield Street, Dartford: Wednesdays in Sept: Carvin Jones, 8.30pm; Sept 29: The Bootleg Bee Gees. 01322 284849.

The Venue, Clifton Rise, New Cross: Sept 29: Bootleg Abba -- Tribute, 8pm, £3/£6; Sept 30: Keep the Faith -- George Michael tribute, 8pm, £3/£7. 020 8692 4077.

White Swan, Westow Hill, Crystal Palace: Wednesdays: The acoustic jam with the Electric Experience, 9pm.

NIGHTCLUBS

Black Horse, Locksbottom, Orpington: Last Saturday of month: The Brotherz in Armz present DJs 3D, Master C and Jamie B playing the best in garage and commercial house, 8pm, free.

Club Caesars, Old Kent Road, Beckenham: Fridays: Girl Power, 10pm, £20 admission including free drink.

Club SL, Lowfield Street, Dartford: Fridays: DJ Jamie plays party classics, 9.30pm-2am; Saturdays: DJ Russ playing dance, uplifting house and UK garage, 9.30pm-2am.

Deja Vu, London Road, Swanley: Thursdays: Club Class chart and dance classics, over-25s, 9pm-2am, £3/£4; Fridays: Branded, commercial dance, 9pm-2am, £6/£7.50; Saturdays: Gorgeous chart and dance with Steve Donohue, 9pm-2am, £6/£7.50. 01322 614321.

Ivy House, Stuart Road, Peckham: Fridays: House and garage with resident DJs, 8pm-midnight, free. 020 7732 0222.

Library Bar, Essex Road, Dartford: Fridays: Grande session with Smokey and Gary Baker, 9.30pm-2am, £5 before 10.30pm, £6 after; Saturdays: Top Totty Session with Smokey and Paul Moon, 9.30am-2am, £5 before 10.30pm, £6 after. 01322 222423.

Paradise Bar, New Cross Road, New Cross: Fridays: Quality -- the best in UK garage with residents Jesse James, Billy Fitz and MC Madd B from Upfront 99.3FM, 9pm-2am, £6/£5 NUS; Sundays: Hipster Flipster -- jazz/funk, 7.30pm til late, £3/£2.

Polo Bar, Broadway, Bexleyheath: Wednesdays: Main Stream Productions presents the CK playing vocal and uplifting garage plus guests; Thursdays: DJ CK and guests playing uplifting house and garage; Fridays: House Party with Billy Boy Argent; Saturdays: DJ CK playing uplifting garage plus top DJs and MCs; Sundays: Anything Goes with Paul "Bad Boy" Moon. All nights free, 7pm. 020 8303 5080.

Railway Hotel, Station Approach, Dartford: First Saturday of month: Cock Rock -- heavy metal and 80s cheese, 7pm, £1.

TJ's, Woolwich New Road, Woolwich: Thursdays: Dance classics and house and garage with the Slammin' FM crew and guests, 10pm-4am, free; Fridays: Urban House with Paul, Mark and guests, 10pm-4am: Saturdays: Tony Ray, Micky B and guests play house and garage, 10pm-4am.

The Venue, Clifton Rise, New Cross: Fridays and Saturdays: Freak Out and Face The Music -- five levels of pop, party, commercial dance, indie, alternative classics and disco, 8pm-4am, £3 before 9pm, £5 after (£6 Saturdays). 020 8692 4077.

Zen Nightclub, Essex Road, Dartford: Thursdays: Cheeky with Kel Sweeney and DJ Lush playing party house and garage, 9.30pm-2am, £4 before 10.30pm, £5 after; Fridays: H&G with Jonesey, DJ Lush, MC Rookie, £6 before 10pm, £8 after; Saturdays: Essential with DJ Jonesey and Kel Sweeney playing dance and club classics, 9.30pm-2am, £6 before 10.30pm, £8 after. 01322 222423.