Bar 68, 68 Brigstock Road, Thornton Heath. 020 8665 0683. Fri: Rob Collins and DJ Bagpuss. Sat: DJ Bagpuss spins the discs. Sun: Trill those tonsils with Bob James karaoke. Pub hours. Thornton Heath BR.

The Bird of Pride, 291 Sydenham Road, Croydon. 020 8684.1469 Popular Croydon local. Pub hours. East/West Croydon BR.

Buzz Bar, 136 Battersea High St, SW11. 020 7207 3895. Clap Junction BR

The Goose and Carrot, 128 Wellesley Rd, Croydon. 020 8689 3473. Hard-to-get-to local though friendly enough when you do make it. West Croydon BR.

Kazbar, 50 Clapham High St, Clapham. 020 7622 0070. Buzzing video bar, particularly popular with the pre-clubbing/party crowd. Open 4pm-midnight Mon-Fri, noon-midnight Saturday, noon-11.30pm Sunday. North Clapham/Clapham Common tube.

Marquis of Lorne, 117 Haydons Road, Wimbledon. 020 8542 3306. Friendly mixed local where there's always something happening and someone to bitch about it when it does. Friday DJ Stevie T spins his handbag; Sunday Hide the vodka it's Pearl White; Monday Eyes down for Housey Housey; Tuesday Camp quiz with Miss C jackpot still a heart-stopping £400; Wednesday buy a drink, get a ticket and if your number's up, find out what's revealed in the box; Thursday Good Cop, Bad Cop house music. South Wimbledon tube.

Reflex, 184 London Road, Kingston. 020 8549 9911. Another fab cabaret show lined up this weekend at the best venue south of the river. Thursday Men Only, 10pm-3am, £3; Friday Night Funk with the Reflex Go-Go Boys £3 before 11pm, £5 after; Saturday the return of the queen of hiNRG, Hazell Dean, who will no doubt give a rousing rendition of Who's Leaving Who 2001, Searchin and Love Pains well, we hope she will, anyway, 10pm-3am, £8;Sunday disco, with both downstairs and the upstairs Forum bar now open 9pm-1am, free. Kingston BR.

Richmond Arms, 20 The Square, Richmond. 020 8940 2118. Long standing establishment which has seen competition come and seen it go. The place for a quiet pint and a natter. Richmond BR and tube.

The Two Brewers, 114 Clapham High Street, Clapham. 020 7498 4971. Hugely popular cabaret bar club with something on almost every night. Open 4pm-2am Mon-Thur, 2pm-3am Fri-Sat, noon-midnight Sun. Friday Eager Divas, DJ Paul Short, £3 after 9.30pm, £5 after 11pm; Sat Titti La Camp, £3 after 9pm, £5 after 11pm; Sun 5.30pm Clear the runway for Pam Ann's Mile High Club how's everyone's favourite trolly dolly going to handle this week's events?; 7.30pm Lola Lasagne; 9.30pm the beast of Hampstead Heath, Sandra, with DJ Chris Reardon in the rear, free; Mon DJ Grant Wilkins, free; Tues 10.30pm Mrs Jakaoke's Karaoke, £2 after 11pm; Wed Pam Ann's Come Fly With Me, DJ Mark Monroe; Thurs Dave Lynn's attempted Crowd Control, £2 after 11pm. Clapham Common tube.

November 16, 2001 16:00