Theatre diary - to Thurs, Dec 20

This year's big Christmas musical at the BAC follows the adventures of Phileas Fogg and his quest to circle the globe. From the same team which brought you Seven Brides For Seven Brothers and The King and I this promises to be something special. Opens tonight to January 12, 7.30pm, Sun 5.30pm, mats Sat 2.30pm Tues Thurs 1pm, £4.50- £12.75.

Meat And Two Veg. A crackling, off-the-wall comedy based on Shakespeare's Twelfth Night. Marooned in post-war Britain, it's boiled eggs and strong tea for the tank-topped Cartoon de Salvo, while rock and roll is about to become the next big thing. Closes December 22, 8.30pm, Sun 6.30pm, £5.50-£8.75.

Jammy Tarts. The outrageous female comedy act is back with all new Christmas show full of seasonal acapella foolery and filth. Perfectly disgusting treat for adults only, December 14-16, 8pm, Sun 6pm, £3.50-£4.75.

Pea Green Boat. Comedian Stewart Lee takes a sideways look at the poem The Owl and the Pussycat. What is an owl doing in a boat with its natural predator? What caused this dangerous situation? December 20-23, 8pm, Sun 6pm, £3.50-£4.75.

Barnes Youth Theatre, Castlenau Youth Centre, Stilling Fleet Road, Barnes 020 7622 5908.

It Makes The World Go Round. What is love? Children say they love their parents when it suits them, vows are taken yet hearts are broken every day. This is an amusing and sometimes tragic look at what love is and is not. December 19-21, 8pm, £2.50-£3.50.

Battersea Power Station, Battersea, 020 7957 4090.

Cirque Du Soleil. Astounding sets, incredible effects and astonishing feats of acrobatic artistry come to town in this circus with a difference. Closes December 30, daily 7.30pm, mats Sat, Sun 3.30pm, £13-£39.50.

Charles Cryer Theatre, 39 High Street, Carshalton, 020 8770 4950.

The Night Before Christmas. A mischievous elf pretends to be hard at work in Santa's grotto on Christmas Eve, but is secretly hiding toys for himself. Father Christmas catches him and explains to the elf what Christmas is all about. Closes December 24, 11am, 2pm, 7pm, £6.50.

Colour House Theatre, Merton Abbey Mills, Colliers Wood, 020 8542 6644.

Cinderella. Fun packed adaptation of the story suitable for children aged three and above. Saturdays and Sundays 2pm, 4pm £5.

Epsom Playhouse, Ashley Avenue, Epsom, 01372 742555/742227.

Jimmy Jones. Comedian in the same vein as Bernard Manning and Roy Chubby Brown brings his brand of humour to the Playhouse. Tonight, 8pm, £13.20-£16.50, adults only.

S Club Heaven and Genie. The tribute band capture all the energy and hits of top teenybop band S Club 7 supported by Genie, Saturday, 2pm, 6pm, £8.50.

That'll Be The Day. A fun family musical with sounds from the 50s, 60s and 70s, December 17-18, 8pm, £16.65-£18.50.

Jack and his Magical Beanstalk. Spectacular family pantomime with Roman Marek as Jack, co-starring TV personality Rick Bowers, opens December 21. Call the box office for times and prices.

The Fairfield, Barclay Road, Croydon, 020 8688 9291.

Cinderella. Mr Blobby and Darren Day star in this lavish production. Will Cinderella get to the ball, will the slipper fit and will she live happily ever after? Closes January 20, 7.30pm, other shows 1.30pm, 2.30pm, 5pm, £9.50-£16.50.

An Evening With Jack Dee. If you missed Jack at the Fairfield in September make sure you get along to this gig. The deadpan comic will be discussing things that irritate him, ranging from pyramid tea bags to London rioters. December 16, 7.30pm, £17-£19.

Stomp. An exhilarating dance show which finds beauty and music in the mundane. Dustbins, washtubs and broomsticks are just some of the props used to make music. December 18-23 , 8pm, mats Sat Sun 3pm, £10-£22.50.

Hampton Hill Theatre, High Street, Hampton Hill, 020 8979 9499.

The Wind In The Willows. A new adaptation of Kenneth Grahame's classic story which tells of the adventures of Ratty, Mole and Mr Toad. Closes December 15, 7.30pm, mat Sat 2.30pm.

Mary Wallace Theatre, The Embankment, Twickenham. 020 8744 0547.

The Taming Of The Shrew. Shakespeare's comedy about the battle of the sexes. Closes December 15, 7.45pm, mat Sat 3pm, £5-£6.

New Victoria Theatre, The Peacock Centre, Woking. 01483 761144.

Aladdin. Pantomime fun with John Inman, Gary Wilmot, Russ Kane and Vanessa Feltz making her panto debut as the Genie of the Lamp. Closes January 27, 7.30pm, other shows 1.30pm, 2.30pm, 5.30pm, £9.50-£17.50.

Orange Tree Theatre, Clarence Street, Richmond 020 8940 3633

Have You Anything To Declare? Farce about a man trying to consummate his marriage. Till February 2, 7.45pm, £5-£15.50

Polka Theatre For Children, 240 The Broadway, Wimbledon, 020 8543 4888.

The Night Before Christmas. For Jimmy Tibbs, it doesn't feel like Christmas Eve. His grandparents are acting strangely, there is frost on the inside of the house and who is the strange woman in the garden? The perfect alternative to pantomimes, suitable for children aged six and over. Until February 2, £5.50-£12.50.

The Elves And The Shoemaker. A classic fairy tale about two elderly shoemakers. With two actors and puppets, this is perfect for younger children. Closes February 9, £5-£6.

Putney Arts Theatre, Ravenna Road, Putney, 020 8788 6943.

The Wind In The Willows. Come and join Ratty, Mole and Mr Toad as they race from one adventure to the next. This stunning interpretation is suitable for all the family. Closes Sunday 16, 7.45pm, mat Sat 3pm, £5-£7.

Richmond Theatre, The Green, Richmond 020 8940 0088

Cinderella. Julian Clary and Postman Pat star in this year's pantomime, complete with ugly sisters and a handsome prince. Closes January 20, 7pm, other shows 1.30pm, 2pm, £10-£17.

The Rose and Crown Theatre, 59-61 High Street, Hampton Wick, 020 8296 9100.

Illusion. A show which takes the audience on a fantastic adventure which is full of magic and dance and makes a perfect alternative to pantomime. Closes December 23, 8pm, mats Sat-Sun 2.30pm, £6-£24.

Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, Croydon 020 8680 4060

Dick Barton Episode III: Tango Of Terror. After two highly successful shows Dick Barton returns for the latest installment in his long running battle against EFIL(Evil Foreigners In London). Opens tonight, till February 3, 8pm, matinees Mon/Tue 6.30pm, Sun 5.30pm, £6.50-£12.50.

Wimbledon Theatre, Wimbledon Broadway 020 8540 0362.

Jack And The Beanstalk. Shane Richie, Geoffrey Rainbow' Hayes and Sadie Nine star in this extravaganza. The timeless fairy story follows the adventures of Jack after he sells his cow for a handful of magic beans. Closes January 20, £10-£17, 2pm, 7.15pm.

Wimbledon Studio Theatre

Alice In Wonderland. Musical adaptation of Lewis Carroll's classic story featuring the White Rabbit, Mad Hatter and the Queen Of Hearts. Closes December 22, 7.30pm, mats Wed 1,30pm, Sat 4pm, £6-£8.

Earl Okin's Christmas Cabaret. The cabaret entertainer performs two shows. The first, Peggy, Mel and Joao, is a tribute to Peggy Lee, Mel Torme and Joao Gilderto. In Musical Genius and Sex Symbol, Earl will regale you with anecdotes tall and true from his career. December 16, 5.30pm, 8pm, £6-£9.

December 14, 2001 12:31