Have you all been watching Springwatch? Damn Bill Oddie, I have gone paranoid about wildlife.

I dare not venture out to my garden in fear of having to disturb my wildlife tenants, and everything that moves is under scrutiny and being observed, and my binoculars have had more than their share of use lately.

Recently we have had a brood of blue tit chicks nesting inside an imitation urn that I have laying on its side as part of my pebble base feature, their mum and dad would come and feed them and you could hear them chirping for their grub. The sound would echo through the urn tannoying their presence. On to the scene would come one of my neighbour's well fed chubby faced tabby cat, parking himself next to the urn and sitting on guard making sure nothing moved without his notice.

Having the chicks' wellbeing at heart I would shoo him away, and he would give me such a look as if saying how dare you interrupt me over my prey.

There would appear on a regular basis a red breasted robin coming in for a drink and a bathe in the water feature with a statue of a Buddha in a meditation position as its background. The robin would bow and pay homage to the Buddha whilst having a drink and a bathe and then being interrupted by sparrows and thrushes muscling in on his act of worship. Nothing is sacred even in the animal world.

Early mornings as I get up for the long day's grind at work looking out of my bedroom window on to my garden and its outlook all the birds are in their full swing of their daily chores. My neighbour's garden has an array of bird feeds and a designated bird bath for those wretched creatures. There are birds coming and going from all over the place, it is worse than Victoria station at rush hour and having a flat roof over the bedroom the crows have made it their meeting place first thing in the morning. Being crows they do like to make their presence felt. They hop and squawk as if they are doing some kind of war dance. I have given up trying to shoo them off, they just fly off and come on the next day making a bigger fuss than they did on the previous occasion as if to say you won't stop us mate, this is our territory.

Coming down to breakfast my partner would say those wretched squirrels have been rummaging through the pots again as the earth from the pots would be scattered over the patio. Going out to clear up the mess a furry creature came running past me. I looked round wondering what the heck that was, and not believing my eyes, a small grey rabbit was dashing through the side gate, then looking towards the back gate a fox momentarily peering through, probably looking for his lost breakfast. He stared me in the face and then run off in amongst the long grass in the field that is at the back of my garden.

I have acquired part of it and made it into an extended garden. There the wildlife really begins. I believe I have spotted virtually every species that lives in Kent, all from a sparrow to a kestrel, a pheasant to a woodpecker, a crow to blackbird and a magpie, an occasional heron flying by being escorted by crows.

Then we would get the two-legged type creatures walking their dogs in amongst the long grass disturbing the natural habitat. I would come up to them and say be very careful my dear, or mate, there are snakes here. I would get a reply "ooh god where, let me get out of here". I chuckle to myself and say watch out there is an adder about.

Anyway, I think I will invite Springwatch to give you the visual effects on camera so you all can share my experiences.