The highs of Christmas are long gone and all that remains are the wobbly rolls of excess fat, a sign that too much deliciousness isn’t good for you! Pinching spare tyres between my fingers I long for a washboard stomach and toned thighs – I can’t embrace the summer looking like this... yet round every corner temptation lurks. The stress of mock exams caused me to consume, quite literally, my body weight in chocolate, the anxiety of the results from the exams triggered a passion for chocolate-coated peanuts and the very briefest contemplation of the GCSE’s makes my stomach yearn for an immediate savouring of the smooth, creamy magic of the cocoa bean.

Exercise would seem an obvious way to go but frankly the trip to the gym seems a bit more of an effort than I can usually muster, not to mention the list of excellent reasons why I can’t attend specific classes; not a convenient time, too much homework, need to wash my hair etc. So ruling out diets and exercise my options for weight loss methods are fast dwindling, unlike my girth! I think I’ll plump (ha!) for Divine intervention and hold out for lent when I’ll pledge to give up chocolate - if that doesn’t work out I’ll just assume part of the BIG plan is a big me! Now where did I leave that galaxy bar?