Drink 2/5, Price 3/5, Décor 3/5, Atmosphere 3/5, Staff 3/5

TEDDY Roosevelt once said ‘If you build it, they will come’ and I think the same applies to television shows.

My visit to Dylans in Lewisham proves people will watch any old rubbish.

I cannot tell you the exact name of the show which was on at the time because the owners might go through CCTV to try to spot me.

But I can reveal it was one of those ‘people want to buy a house and do not realise their budget does not stretch to the property they want’ shows.

Punters seemed transfixed by the programme although this might have been because of the lack of drinks.

Being an Irish pub, the black stuff was on tap and the national flag was flying.

A little bit of national pride is fine if it can be accompanied by a pint of London Pride or Alton’s Pride or any kind of ale.

Lager seemed to be the order of the day. The barman said he did not do Becks or my next choice of Kronenbourg, despite the badges being clearly displayed on two of the pumps with absolutely no indication they had run out.

Fosters (£2.90) became one of my only choices and it tasted exactly as it does everywhere else, which is fine if you like the ‘amber nectar’ but you all know me better than that.

Dylans is seemingly named both for Bob Dylan and Dylan Thomas although on the inside the only reference to them is a few pictures of the American singer-songwriter.

This is a shame because it would have been nice to have more of a gimmick than just being a long thin Irish bar