For his latest Dan Dares challenge, our very own fearless reporter DAN KEEL attempted to pass a Spanish GCSE reading exam with no training whatsoever.
MY SUCCESS rate in completing bold, ridiculous and sometimes dangerous challenges is now unquestionably exemplary.
Despite the doubts of my colleagues and readers I have time and again proven my physical power.
I have completed a half-marathon with only two weeks of training, I have stomached three curries in one day, and I have withstood the g-force of a high-speed aeroplane when standing on it's wings in the middle of winter.
Needless to say the female contingent of the news room begged me to get my kit-off for my previous dare.
I reluctantly obliged and took a dip in the freezing English Channel to mark my Shopper to Shore challenge.
But now was the time to prove there are some brains behind that brawn.
Every August I hear national journalists slate the standard of exams in this country with comments like "any monkey could pass a GCSE these days".
Well now was my chance to prove them right!
Armed with three words in Spanish - 'yes', 'please' and 'thank you' - I strolled into Orpington College aiming for 26 per cent and a grade G pass.
As I sat down with Colombian-born Spanish teacher, Aleyda Mallyon, I suddenly felt like a little schoolboy again.
"No talking Dan", "tuck your shirt in" and "read the questions carefully" brought back some nasty memories.
To be honest I was just grateful I didn't hear, "Don't listen to those bullies - you can't help it, you were born like it" - but, that's another story.
However, as Mrs Mallyon read out the words "Your time starts now" I genuinely did feel a little nervous.
As I ploughed my way through the exam's 30 questions I adopted the textbook approach to exam-writing. First I went for the easy multiple choice questions.
Question five had a picture of a bar of chocolate and a selection of boxes which needed ticking.
My options included a) Una botella de limonada, b) Un walkman and c) Una tableta de chocolate.
Which one do you think it was?
As the exam wore on it became more challenging with paragraphs of Spanish followed by questions in English.
It soon became clear to me that the bulk of the marks were in the picture questions.
I targeted them relentlessly and took pot-luck guesses at any questions which actually involved reading Spanish.
Miraculously I achieved 62 per cent which was enough to give me a grade C - the highest possible grade for a foundation Spanish reading GCSE.
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