Now I must say first off that Excalibur is not a violent sort of person, having never been involved in a fight or thrown a punch at anyone outside of the old ‘Squared Circle’. However…….

Don’t you find that there are certain people in this world who push your buttons for all of the wrong reasons? People who only have to do the tiniest of things to make you have malevolent thoughts about them?

There could be any number of reasons for this, be it from some huge personal injustice that you hold them responsible for, to just a dislike of what they stand for - it might be Gordon Brown, it might be Peter Mandelson, it might be Gary Glitter, it might be someone who referred to you as ‘not the most cheery of fellows’ (don’t worry City, it’s not you……………..this time!).

But I want to know who you would like to clobber, given the chance? And what are your reasons for your decision?

Me? Well, it’s someone I’ve never met, never spoken too and only seen a few times – a television presenter by the name of Matthew Wright. I know nothing about the chap, but he pops up presenting a programme called The London Programme and every-time I see his smug, weasely face, every-time I hear his whiny voice and every-time I see him wringing his hands together those malevolent thoughts enter my mind and I think to myself “If I ever saw you walking down the road, pal, I’d just have to……………. It would be my civic duty!”

I suppose I should add some sort of disclaimer on the end of the blog, just so that I don’t get my collar felt by some over-eager, politically correct plod – something along the lines of “This isn’t an incitement to carry out the act. Please don’t act out your fantasy; it’s actually illegal to clobber someone – even Matthew Wright!”