After intense pressure from my colleagues I was persuaded to perform my first practise attempt in front of the entire office.

Rumour has it that a few wagers have already been exchanged between staff. The punters wanted to know where their money was going and so I gave them what they wanted in the form of a dummy run.....

"Pathetic", "abysmal", "pitiful", "woeful", "lame" and "measly" - these were just a few of the words used to describe me - and that was before I had even started eating.

But after taking the best part of four minutes to down the crackers, the language became yet more colourful - in fact much cannot be repeated.

To give you a clue one person shouted something which began with "F" and ended in "disgrace to the newspaper industry". Another simply said "you make me sick".

But the insult which cut the deepest was "Roy Castle is turning in his grave". A schoolboy hero of mine you see.

However, if anyone had taken a dig at Cheryl Baker then I really would have kicked off. Are there any other 26-year-olds out there who used to fantasise about her in their early teens?

If so - please email me at dkeel@london.newsquest.co.uk

Dare Deadline - August 13

If you have any tips to help me out, or examples of times you have tried this challenge - please email me or leave a comment.