Brought to you by
BARNARDO'S
“I feel I’ve been absolutely rewarded doing it, 100% rewarded in every sense. I can only say that the child brought more to me than I felt I gave the child. Just every time the child went home, the house would feel a little empty.”
The above are the words of foster carers Robert and Patricia, a couple who felt they had room in hearts and their home when they reached out to Barnardo's in 2012.
“When we first agreed to it, we had a five-bedroom house, so that was one reason we fostered, we had four spare bedrooms and we didn’t know what to do with them, they were just wasting,” said Robert.
Patricia added: “I come from the background of a paediatric nurse, then I worked in the school working with special educational needs children, so I felt like I possibly did have some skills.
"I said I was quite open to have any kind of disability or special needs children because I worked with children, so I did feel that it wasn’t a new area for me to go into.
"You don’t need to have that kind of experience, but for me personally I felt like it would be helpful on my journey through fostering.”
Foster carers help to provide children and young people with a safe and loving place they can call home – a place where they can belong.
“I believe every child should be happy and I believe that it is your duty as a foster carer whether it is short break or long term that your aim is to make sure that the child is happy, as well as feeling secure, giving them a constant roof over their head, you know building on that relationship, but our firm belief is making sure that a child is happy," said Pat.
At Barnardo’s we understand that fostering is a big decision but one that can change your life and a child’s life for the better. It is also a decision that can impact the rest of your family, which is why family, including pets, are included in the fostering process.
“The fostering process did make you reflect on yourself, and it certainly made you reflect on us as a couple and as a family, each of our children were also interviewed. I think they want to make sure that everybody is on board, so that it’s not just you wanting to do it and the rest of your family is against it.
"To be honest over the years we have needed our family as back up sometimes and certainly the grandchildren have come in and played a great part with the fostering,” said Robert.
And Barnardo’s are with you every step of the way.
“We have three major points of contact, and you have a phoneline for each of them and email. They answer their emails straight away, so we have various emails that we send out to people, so there is a good support structure," said a spokesperson for Barnardo's.
“They support you with all the training programmes which are ongoing, excellent training programmes, and I think it would be wise for anyone thinking about embarking on a fostering journey to make the most out of all of the training.”
Barnardo’s community of foster carers come from all walks of life, bringing unique skills and experiences that help meet the needs of our children. We asked Patricia and Rob to tell us more about what skills they bring to fostering.
“I’ve learnt, certainly to look into myself more; to take a step back and I think. That helps you find strengths you didn’t even realise you had," said Patricia.
"I don’t know if I’ve always been a good listener, but I am certainly a good listener now because that is one of the strengths you do have, you have to be able to listen. Sometimes when a child comes, they don’t really want your response they just want to know they are being heard, they want you to sit down and make time for them.” Patricia said.
“I have always offered humour, make them laugh. It breaks down the barriers…This one child wouldn’t speak, and she started giggling and within half an hour the barriers had broken down and she wanted to be friends, and she decided she liked it here.” Robert added.
Fostering can be one of the most rewarding things you can do.
“At the beginning you don’t know what you’re undertaking, you hope it’s the right role for you, but you don’t know, but over the years when you reflect back on it you think my goodness I have enjoyed this so so much. And we get texts off people afterwards, cards, letters.
"We had two children and they were at a carers and we were doing respite and when mum got the children back she asked us to go to her house and she had roses and cards.
"Follow ups and photographs have come from them, so many nice things have followed on, you know, a text saying where they are now and thanking us for the time they had with us.”
Barnardo’s need more incredible people like Patricia and Robert to help support more children and young people.
Interested in finding out more about fostering? Visit www.barnardos.org.uk/Kent-Fostering
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article