Your baby looks like Wayne Rooney: 24 best insults from rude Twitter clock which really puts MEAN into Greenwich Mean Time

If you’re someone who might like being insulted while finding out the correct time, the @GreenwichMean feed is worth checking out.

The Greenwich Mean Time account has built up almost 12,000 followers in little over a year with its combination of time-telling and offensive put-downs.

It’s a shame the abusive author only tweets a couple of times a day and that much of what they write is just plain sweary, because when they are on form they come out with some hilariously scathing comments.

Here I've rounded up 24 of my favourite tweets. They are taken from different dates but put into convenient time order so you can enjoy a whole day’s worth of Greenwich Mean’s unique way of presenting information!

If you think you can do any better than these, write a comment below stating the time and the wittiest insult you can come up with.

It's 9.19am. Your baby looks like Wayne Rooney.

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) October 21, 2013

It's 9.33am. I hope your keys are inconveniently sat at the very bottom of your bag when you're in a rush to pull them out.

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) June 8, 2014

It's 10.50am. You could be outside but instead, you're stuck in an office because you made all the wrong life decisions.

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) May 15, 2014

It's 11.00am. You couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) March 8, 2014

It's 12.23pm. I hope your S Club 7 cd gets a nasty scratch.

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) December 2, 2013

It's 1.10pm. Your hedges are unkempt.

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) June 9, 2014

It's 1.13pm. You never tan because not even the sun wants to touch you.

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) June 10, 2014

It's 1.55pm. You look terrible in photos because you look terrible in real life.

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) December 14, 2013

It's 2pm. Even @David_Cameron is more respected than you.

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) March 8, 2014

It's 2.41pm. All your school friends were paid actors from a local children's television workshop. It nearly bankrupted your parents.

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) June 3, 2014

It's 3.13pm. I hope your phone falls into the toilet.

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) January 6, 2014

It's 3.39pm. You could've been a model except for your face and body.

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) December 28, 2013

It's 4.48pm. Your microwave oven is of poor wattage.

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) November 28, 2013

It's 5.07pm. I hope your club signs Emile Heskey.

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) January 31, 2014

It's 6:00pm. Are you sure you should be eating that second biscuit?

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) May 12, 2014

It's 6.35pm. I hope you cut your fingernails too short and the top bit of your finger becomes sore.

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) January 18, 2014

It's 6.51pm. You smell like stale ham.

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) June 3, 2014

It's 6.53pm. I hope the lid of your favourite pen goes missing.

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) December 12, 2013

It's 7.08pm. Your fridge has a smaller waist than you.

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) October 28, 2013

It's 8.20pm. I hope you get a Jedward CD for Christmas.

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) December 23, 2013

It's 9.11pm. Your Tamagotchi committed suicide.

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) March 5, 2014

It's 9.30pm. I hope you dip your biscuit in your tea for too long and it breaks off.

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) December 8, 2013

It's 9.45pm. I hope you fall out of bed tonight.

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) November 18, 2013

It's 10.15pm. You look like Piers Morgan.

— Greenwich Mean Time (@GreenwichMean) December 26, 2013