Swanley Drink 3/5 Decor 3/5 Food 4/5 Price 4/5 Atmosphere 4/5 Staff 4/5

I AM reluctant to tell you about this pub - at least in the glowing terms it deserves - because part of its charm was the peace and quiet. If I tell you how great it is you'll all go there, which might be good for business but not for my tranquility when I go back - which I plan to.

So please do me the courtesy of ignoring everything I write from here on.

The day I visited was a rare September sunny day, so I sat in the pleasant garden, the peace only shattered by a boring man bellowing into his mobile phone about being a journalist.

Big deal, I'm a journalist but I try not to ruin everyone's drinking time by banging on about it.

Disappointingly, the friendly landlady apologised for running out of the Adnams Broadside.

But the Courage Best was a fine pint and the Fosters extra cold was perfectly chilly.

The food all looked great, with lots of nice things under a fiver.

I had a piping hot cheese, bacon and onion baguette for £3.30 - though I did enviously eye someone's Sunday roast with all the trimmings for £6.

A word of warning - if you're feeling self-conscious and sitting in the garden - maybe think about ordering a salad.

Or be like me, shamefacedly raising my hand and mumbling, as people turned to look when the nice lady who cooks the food yelled out my lardy order with portion of chips at the top of her voice.

Sunday papers, cold beer, tasty grub, sunshine and - once the loud journo had buggered off - peace. What more is there to say?

The Chequers is a rare, super village boozer. Don't go there.