ONE borough, one night, four pubs and one man and a few thirsty friends (yes, I do have some) — this is the pub crawl to end all politically incorrect booze binges.

Continuing my quest to find the best and inevitably uncover the worst pubs in the News Shopper area, I will be embarking on a beer sodden pub crawl in a different area each month.

And where better to start than the leafy borough of Bromley.

ROUND 1

News Shopper: Sovereign of the Seas, Queensway, Petts Wood

There are only two reasons you’d stop for a drink at the Sovereign of the Seas pub in Queensway, Petts Wood.

One is for the great selection of ales and the other is its dirt cheap prices, which make supermarket value beer look like daylight robbery.

It’s just a shame the Moroccan meatballs tasted like they came from a tin and the stench of vomit clinged to your clothes long after you’d fled to classier climes.

You get what you pay for at this Wetherspoon pub, so be prepared to take the rough with the smooth. Try one of their many ales but hold your breath inbetween sips. **

ROUND 2

News Shopper: The Partridge, High Street, Bromley

WITH my insatiable thirst quenched but my stomach feeling sea sick from The Sov’s grubby grub, I made a beeline for The Partridge in Bromley High Street.

If you take a deep breath you can still smell the scent of newly printed cash in this grand former bank and it looks more like a City private members' club than a town centre boozer.

Of course, class comes at a price and a pint of the smokey Fuller’s Discovery blonde beer is above average.

But who is complaining when you feel a million bucks?

Just sitting in this pub will make you feel rich while you quaff on your beer or enjoy one of the pub’s impressive range of wines. The food menu is pricey but there’s more to their pies than just meat and gravy. ****

ROUND 3

News Shopper: Patrick's, High Street, Beckenham

NO DRUNKEN night out would be complete without a touch of Irish inebriation.

Patrick’s in Beckenham High Street is certainly smaller than its rival O’Neill’s next door.

But painted in garish red and yellow it screams fun, even if inside its five wide-screen TVs showing mainly horse racing makes it feel like a bookies with a bar.

Place a bet while you sup on a Guinness and dance to the latest cheesy chart tunes. It’s a fun party but confusing. ***

ROUND 4

News Shopper: Hollywood East, Station Road, Penge

IF SHABBY chic is your thing, head to the Hollywood East in Station Road, Penge.

It may seem like a bum note to end on, but this, let's say, basic boozer has an earthy charm about it.

Warm and friendly staff and punters make this a surprising hit for a chilled out (cheap) drink.

Oh and if your phone’s battery is running low on juice, there are chargers for every possible mobile hanging on one wall. Bizarre.

While not as glam as the LA movie district, the Hollywood gets marks for keeping it real. ***