Decor ** (untidy) Drink ** (no room for adventure) Price *** (what you’d expect) Atmosphere * (if obscenities are your thing, there’s an extensive range) Staff **** (the most welcoming element)

DAREDEVIL extraordinaire or simply a man with a deathwish? Not only did I walk into The Broomwood this week, I also persuaded my drinking partner to order a malibu and pineapple.

I did this just to see the reaction from the jobbing builders and the even worse-dressed chavs.

In fairness, they didn’t bat an eyelid and even the fellow in the blue pork pie hat and flowing neckerchief stepped away from the bar politely so we could be served.

Even before I could get through the door, I probably shouldn’t have been surprised at the special offer which came with the pineapple juice.

Believe it or not, the glass contained no less than eight ants (whether there were more before the drink was started I don’t know).

Still, the barmaid was very understanding: “Well I never, what a thing. Still, I think they’re dead.

“I tell you what, would you like another drink?” Now that’s customer care.

Not for the first time in my drinking life, I played safe and moved onto a pint of Kronenbourg — completely insect-free and perfectly served.

For an early Friday evening the pub was already livening up and as the sun was shining I ventured into the fenced yard at the back.

Now this is a pub which really caters for its smokers — it clearly realises the majority of its regulars will be on at least 40 a day.

In fact, the furniture out here is probably in better nick than the stuff inside and the smoking area is lit and heated.

Given the quantity they were smoking it was remarkable they found the breath to shout foul-mouth obscenities across the patio at each other, but somehow they kept it up for extended periods.

Other than the four letter word, entertainment at the boozer includes all available Premiership matches shown on a big screen and various live music, karaoke and disco nights.

But we didn’t need extra entertainment because by this time the guy in the blue hat was dancing with himself in front of the jukebox.

We didn’t sample the food, but the menu says it’s homemade and it’s reasonably priced.

Likewise, the Kronenbourg for £3 a pint is about what you’d expect.

Despite my reservations, I found myself strangely enjoying the Broomwood. It does what it says on the tin.

There’s something reassuring about a pub which doesn’t try to be something it’s not and simply serves customers what they want — which 99 per cent of the time is going to be lager.

Afterall, who would be stupid enough to come in here and order a malibu and pineapple?