Decor *** (slick but soulless) Drink ** (lower your expectations) Price *** (reasonable) Atmosphere ** (sterile) Staff ***** (exceptional) Food **** (avoid the 80s menu in favour of a spicy curry)
THEY say the 60s were swinging and the 90s were caring but judging by The Slug and Lettuce’s self-indulgent celebration of the chain’s 25th birthday, the 1980s were naffer than acid washed jeans and the Hoff’s home-permed mullet.
More than two decades on, the pub is so happy to still be churning out the same brand of charmless, corporate mediocrity, they have dedicated a whole food and drinks menu to the era which style and good taste forgot.
It sounds like a fun gimmick — one which should have injected some much needed personality into the slickly decorated but ultimately soulless high street boozer.
However, with a choice of dishes you wouldn’t be surprised to find still languishing in Margaret Thatcher’s freezer, my gut rumbled with mild apprehension, rather than hunger.
Deciding to pass on a dinner of chicken kiev and prawn salad, I ordered a Blue Lagoon cocktail (£3.95) to properly immerse myself in the pub’s birthday theme.
Naively imagining I had just asked for a drink of such high brow sophistication Donald Trump probably sipped on one while closing billion dollar deals, my face sank when a large glass of neon blue gunk was placed before me.
Feeling like a closeted George Michael at a straight singles mixer, I coyly removed the camp umbrella and flamboyant tinsel decoration from the drink and sheepishly took a sip.
Its sickly sweet apple flavour sent my head spinning, while the luminous colouring which proceeded to line my stomach could no doubt be seen from space.
The 80s may have spawned the mobile phone and MTV, but even The A-Team can’t save this kitsch menu from being a step back in time which is sadly one step beyond inedible.
Fortunately, for those who don’t relish sampling the culinary delights of a thankfully bygone time, the Slug’s regular menu still offers the usual mix of traditional pub grub and world cuisine.
The chicken tikka makhani (£7.45) was a surprise hit, with just the right amount of spice and fresh flavours to keep your tastebuds tickled.
Ditching my cocktail for the pub’s Birthday Ale (£1.95) I felt I was finally back in the 21st century.
The beer is only on tap until around the end of this month and for that, I thank the owners of the chain.
Yes, it’s cheap, but unless you enjoy supping on a pint of watered down cat pee, I doubt there will be much future demand for the specially commissioned beer.
Despite The Slug and Lettuce feeling more like a plush hotel lobby than a cosy drinking establishment, the staff were exceptionally helpful and friendly.
At least the bar didn’t choose the cold hard sell of 80s capitalism as its theme.
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