Decor *** (identity crisis), Drink ***** (great range), Price ***** (unbeatable), Atmosphere *** (chilled), Staff **** (friendly and helpful), Food *** (massive portions but a little cold)
BREAKFAST is the most important meal of the day and while most people barely have time for a slice of toast before dashing to the office, a fry-up and a frothy mug of coffee remains a guilty pleasure for many.
Audrey Hepburn may have enjoyed a croissant and diamonds at Tiffany’s in the morning, but my wallet only stretches as far as the local Wetherspoons.
It doesn’t have the glamour and sophistication of a boutique cafe in Chelsea, but The Richmal Crompton in Bromley is definitely a step up from any high street greasy spoon.
With all Spoons pubs now opening at 7am and a brand spanking new breakfast menu on offer, the chain is catering to rushed office workers and commuters.
They sit dotted around the boozer sipping lattes and scoffing egg muffins while tapping out emails and surfing the net for the latest smart phone.
However, my rumbling stomach lurched as I walked through The Richmal’s heavy glass doors and the stench of stale beer hit the back of my throat and stuck there like a week-old booze-sodden bar snack.
Holding my breath, I walked over to the cheerful barman and ordered myself a large breakfast (£3.99) and a large Lavazza cappuccino (£1.29).
My mother always said I had eyes bigger than my stomach and when my early morning snack arrived on a platter large enough to serve a jumbo Christmas turkey on, even I found it a strain to focus.
With two fried eggs, three hash browns, two sausages, baked beans, two rashers of bacon, one tiny tomato, a single lonely mushroom and two slices of toast, all jostling for space on my plate, it was less petit dejeuner and more grand fete.
One woman passing the window was so shocked by my apparent gluttony, she had to stop and point.
Famished and ready for the challenge I greedily tucked into my decadent feast only to discover my delicious hot breakfast was only lukewarm.
With only a handful of customers to serve, it didn’t seem too unreasonable to expect the food to be piping hot.
Nevertheless, my food was tasty and well-cooked.
The same cannot be said for the decor, which is half-baked at best.
With sexy curves and funky lighting in one corner, a family area in another and a cosy nook with stacks of dog-eared books, the boozer seems to be suffering from some sort of identity crisis.
The bright blue neon sign outside screams for attention and although The Richmal is classier than most of the chain’s pubs, just as Cava will never be Champagne, a Wetherspoons will never be The Ritz, no matter how much pleather sofas you add.
But who cares? With its impossibly low prices and extensive food menu, we love Spoons boozers just as they are.
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