Drink **, Décor **, Price ***, Atmosphere (zero), Food *, Staff ***

EVERY picture tells a story and at the White Hart the story is better than reality.

The Sunday roast section of the menu at the high street pub showed a half a roast chicken served with vegetables, gravy and Yorkshire pudding.

What arrived on the plate, however, told a very different tale.

I have no qualms with the vegetables – cauliflower, roast potatoes and the best peas and carrots I have had in a pub for years.

But I am unsure what kind of sorcery was done to magic away the half a roast chicken and replace it with a something which I will describe as a bit.

Its official name was probably a breast which is fine on any other day but when I was planning to spend the afternoon in the boozer to escape the rain I wanted something much more substantial.

Maybe this is why my associate and I were the only people in the place taking ‘advantage’ of the £8.99 for two roast dinners offer despite it being lunchtime.

I would have liked to have been able to take advantage of a well-poured pint of ale but as has been the case in this Orpington establishment during my visits over the years, there was none.

Instead the offering for the ale drinker was Tetley’s Smoothflow which is far too cold for anyone serious about their pints to get any flavour or enjoyment from.

Seemingly going for much more than a hat-trick, what the pub lacks in nice food and refreshing beer, it also lacks in charm, character and atmosphere.

Its only redeeming feature is the friendly smiley barmaids who give good service in a bad environment.

They would do well to find somewhere better to work, just as you would do well to find somewhere better to drink.