Matthew Jenkin takes a look ahead at the week's TV schedule.

YOUNG man, there’s a place you can go when you’re short on your doe. You can go there and I’m sure you will find many ways to have a good time. It’s called the YMCA — sound advice which Clegg and Cameron are no doubt kicking themselves for not having thought of first.

As they wield their axe of austerity around like headless horsemen of the apocalypse and “alarm clock Britain” finally gets its wake-up call and somewhat pointlessly marches on Westminster, a mass Village People flashdance might have been just the ticket to cheer the unwashed masses up.

It’s certainly a missed opportunity, but with the royal wedding coming up to remind everyone some people never have to worry about losing their jobs because they never had one in the first place, the Lib-Con coalition would do well to plant a mob of camp, hand waving 70s music fans to quell any anti-royalist sentiments within the crowd.

Alternatively, politicians can hope Channel 4’s new comedy series Campus, on Tuesday at 10pm, provides enough laughs before Big Willy’s even bigger day to appease and furious troublemakers.

Coming from the makers of the the superbly surreal and absurd Green Wing, the show about the fortunes of staff at the troubled Kirke University certainly sounds promising and features top talent such as Andy Nyman and Will Adamsdale.

However, judging by the short teasers currently being screened between scheduled programmes it’s about as funny as a man with a loudhailer and a girl accidentily locking herself to a bike rack.

Oh, wait a minute, did you just say those are the funny bits Channel 4 is trying to sell it with? Oh dear.

At least Channel 4 struck gold with the freakishly addictive Model Agency, which reaches its penultimate episode tonight at 10pm.

Going behind the scenes of Premier — one of Britain’s top model agencies — it supposedly lifts the lid on the cutthroat world of fashion.

In reality, it’s an hour-long bitch-fest as the agents struggle to keep their star assets from tripping over their stilettos.

In short, I love it and this week sees stunning teenager Leomie Anderson being set up as the new Naomi Campbell.

If the vacuity of fashion has left you feeling dazed, Martina Cole’s The Runaway on Sky1, tomorrow at 9pm, promises to deliver a sizeable blow to the head with its brutal story about a pair of childhood sweethearts caught up in the violence of 1960s East End London.

Its stellar cast includes Ken Stott, Keith Allen and Alan Cumming. Thankfully, rent-a-cockney Danny Dyer was busy.

You can follow Matthew Jenkin's pointless ramblings on Twitter @matthewjenkin